People pleasing will destroy you !!!!!!!!

I’m almost 50 and have just realized that my people pleasing has destroyed every relationship in my life. It has the complete opposite affect on the people you are trying to please as well as the intent behind the act of people pleasing. I have sought therapy in my life for the first time and it’s working.

I’m not blaming my upbringing for my people pleasing but it’s a direct result of having a mother that controlled everything and unless she was happy, no one was happy. My older brother and sister chose the path of fighting it and I chose the path of submission and did everything I could to make sure she was happy. Even after I moved out at 16. It affected every friendship, intimate relationship, work mates and business partner. No one truly understood why I would bend over backwards for everyone but myself. It made me come across as fake or they were suspicious of my behaviors. Even though my intent was truly to be nice and make them happy.

Fix this in yourself now. I am only 90 days into my journey and I have learned to say no. It’s harder than you think. My first true test was with my mother inlaw and it was a simple thing she needed but it was going to mess up my entire day. I was going to do it to my own unhappiness. It’s a sickness. I said no and had a great day focusing on my needs. It still bothers me but it was the right decision. My journey is just beginning, wish me luck.